Desire to Grow and Thrive

Back in January, in one of my articles, I invited you to start a small but powerful personal revolution: to choose one big goal and dedicate your whole year to it.
Link to article

It was an invitation to give your energy a clear direction and make space—inside and out—for what truly matters to you.
Today, I want to pick up that thread and take you one step further: from focusing on one goal to cultivating the ability to desire.

Because there is a huge difference between “solving a problem” and “nurturing a desire.” And this difference can profoundly transform the quality of your life.
​
The most powerful way I know to do this is by writing and cultivating 101 desires.

​From problem to desire: a shift in perspective
On a rational level, moving from solving problems to nurturing desires can feel like a leap into the unknown.
Problems are concrete; you know how they work: you analyze them, diagnose them, and work on them until you find a solution. Once solved, you file them away. And if they remain unresolved, they tend to grow heavier over time.
Desires, on the other hand, work differently. They don’t need to be “fixed”: they ignite within you, offering pleasure and opening up possibilities. They may or may not come true, yet they still nourish your life simply by existing. The act of desiring enriches you the moment you do it.
Think of desire as an inner flame: when you tend to it, it lights up your present and points you in a direction. It doesn’t matter if you reach exactly that point or if the journey takes you elsewhere—the energy that moves you will already be transformative in itself.


But… are we still able to desire?
For many people, desire is like a muscle that’s gone a bit unused.
Daily life, responsibilities, and routines often push us to make choices that are functional, safe, and predictable. We get used to thinking more about what is “needed” than about what we would actually “like.”
Let me give you a simple example.
When you order water at a restaurant, do you really choose what you desire or do you stick to your usual safe choice? Do you allow yourself to decide if you want it still or sparkling, cold or at room temperature, with a slice of lemon or a sprig of mint? Or do you avoid being “too picky” with such specific requests?
And when you get dressed in the morning, do you pick clothes that reflect how you feel and the energy you want to project that day? Or do you tend to stick to what “looks good” or is “appropriate” for your work environment, even if it doesn’t fully represent you?
Small gestures like these reveal how much space you allow your desires in everyday life—and, by extension, how much freedom you give yourself to imagine and create a life that feels more like your own.


Stepping out of your comfort zone
Desiring is also an act of courage.
It means asking yourself: What are the boundaries of my comfort zone? How can I expand them? How much freedom do I allow myself to feel and to want?
Answering these questions is like drawing a map: it helps you see where you are and what path you want to take to get to where you dream of being.
But to do this, you need training—you need to re-educate your mind and heart to formulate desires that are clear, free, and powerful.


The “muscle” of desire: the 101 desires technique
The method I’m sharing with you today is a tool I deeply love and have seen transform lives: the 101 desires technique, introduced in Italy by Igor Sibaldi and based on simple yet powerful rules.
This is not an exercise to complete in one evening. It could take you weeks or even months. But every step you take will help you reactivate that part of you that knows how to dream without self-censorship.
Here are the main rules:

1. Use no more than 14 words for each desire. This forces you to be clear and focused, without unnecessary details.
2. Always start with “I want…”. At first, it may feel bold, but here we’re training your freedom to ask.
3. Write in the affirmative form. Avoid negatives like “I don’t want” or “stop doing…”.
4. No comparisons with others. Desire should come from you, not from measuring yourself against someone else.
5. Avoid serial desires. Group similar things into one desire, then move on.
6. Don’t ask for money—ask for what you want to achieve with it.
7. No diminutives. Words like “little house” or “small job” diminish the value of what you want.
8. Only write desires for yourself. You can include others only in terms of the good you can do for them, without interfering with their path.
9. Avoid naming specific people in relationship desires. Instead, describe the qualities you want to experience.
10. Seek the inner smile. Each desire should bring you joy just by thinking about it.

Why it works
This exercise is not just a list of “things I want.”

It’s a journey of self-listening. It pushes you to dig deep, to distinguish between what you think you should want and what truly comes from your heart.
It helps you recognize your own worth, expand your vision of what’s possible, and stay connected to the pleasure of creating your life.
​
When one desire comes true, you cross it off and replace it with a new one. This way, the list becomes a living, evolving diary of your personal growth.

Desiring is an act of trust
Moving from problems to desires doesn’t mean ignoring life’s difficulties. It means shifting your focus from what’s missing to what you want to see grow.
It’s an act of trust—in yourself, in your abilities, and in life itself.
It’s also a way to honor that annual goal we spoke about back in January. If at that time I invited you to choose a direction, today I invite you to color it in, enrich it, and multiply it through 101 desires. Because the more you learn to desire, the more you expand the field of possibilities.


Where to start
You can start today. Take a special notebook and write your first desires—just five to begin with.
Remember: the final goal is to reach 101 desires.
Notice how you feel as you write: do you feel free? Guilty? Embarrassed? Happy? Don’t judge the feelings—just acknowledge them.
Over time, you’ll discover that desiring is not just about imagining new things: it’s about learning to recognize who you are and what makes you feel good.
And when you cultivate this, growing and thriving become a natural consequence.


And you?
Are you ready to awaken your desire muscle?
The journey is yours, but I’ll be here—as I was back in January—to remind you that the first step toward a fuller life is always the same: allowing yourself to want.