LIVING ABROAD & FEELING AT HOME: 10 rules to have a meaningful conversation

Wouldn't you like to have conversations where you were feeling engaged and inspired, where you made a real connection?
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This post was inspired by a ted talk (see link below) about insightful and simple conversations tips, but what really touched my cords were the premises, scientifically based, that led the speaker to give this talk:

1. Research shows that we are, at this moment in history, extremely polarised in our opinions, like never before.
2. Research shows also that we are not willing to compromise.

The polarisation and the lack of compromise are even more relevant when you live abroad.
You have your culture and the locals have theirs, you can learn to appreciate aspects of the culture you encounter, but there will always be specific way of looking at thing, or doing thing that are just the opposite to what you are used to in your culture and were you cannot compromise.  What then? To be able to have an open conversation about the way you are experiencing things and what your frustration is can go a long way to transform a potential conflict into an opportunity to grow closer with the other.

This is why living abroad is considered such a good experienced to learn to know yourself and develop into a more aware individual. You discover yourself in the encounter with the other and their differences. You become aware of what you like the most about yourself and what you have learn to be in your culture, but you learn also who you could be, what is also possible from the perspective of a different culture. The best of this all is that you can discover the diversity of the other without losing yourself: you can enrich yourself.

Would you not like to have conversations were feeling engaged and inspired, where you make a real connection?

 These 10 things can help you bring your relationships to a new level:

1. Be present in that moment, in that conversation;
2. Enter every conversation assuming there is something to learn by listening to the other;
3. Use open ended question: Who…? How…? What..? When..? Where…? You’ll get really interesting answers;
4. Go with the flow of the conversation instead of with your line of thinking;
5. If you don’t know, simply say you don’t know;
6. Don’t equate your troubles to theirs, it is not the same, it is never the same;
7. Try not to repeat yourself, it comes across as condescending;
8. Don’t get into the details, people care about you, what you are like, rather than all the details;
9. Listen with the intent to understand;
10. Be brief: a good conversation is like a miniskirt, short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject;

Be interested to people and be prepared to be amazed!

Watch the video if you want to know more about this topic.

I would love to hear your experiences with good conversations, please share in the comments.
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