It is often striking to me how powerful it can be to pay attention to someone. How much attention looks like love, you could say. People that experience receiving attention feel not only heard and seen, but also understood and acknowledged. If someone gives you attention that means that you and what you share is legitimate, really exist.
If you never lacked attention this may sound weird, but is painfully true for many. Having someone in your life that pays attention to you, that knows what is going on with you, that would notice a change, that is there to share your sorrow or your happiness, is a vital part of being happy.
Even Harvard University confirmed it after a 70 years long study about happiness to find out what makes people happy. The result revealed that the most important factor was having a significant other in your life, a meaningful positive relationship. In majority of the cases that was a good marriage, however other variation of positive meaningful long term relationship within the family or with friends seemed to serve the same result: happiness.
The happiness that I’m talking about is not so much the smiling all the time and being excited for something, is more the deep sense of safety and security you experience when you receive attention and give attention back to someone that is important for you.
Attention has many ways and many level just as love. You can have attention within a romantic relationship but also a therapist will give you attention, a friend might as well. And you may have attention for someone you care about and you may have attention for a cause or a group of people.
Attention is being present, being aware and energetically involved. Attention is soothing, non-judgmental, loving and reassuring. Receiving attention feels like being important for someone, giving attention allows you to show to someone how important they are for you.
What a nice present could giving attention to someone could be, don’t you think?
Both to receive it and to give it, really.
Do you want to keep talking about this or you want some more help with it?
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