Conflict is, simply said, an incompatibility between the interest of two parties. Conflicts come in different grades of intensity and the majority of people tend to avoid conflicts and even to judge who doesn't do their best to avoid conflict: 'there must be another way'!
Well, I came to appreciate the potential of a well-handled conflict and seen that conflicts cannot really be avoided, I share gladly some findings to help you widen your toolkit to solve conflicts in a creative and growth-oriented way.
Conflicts we have with others mirrors something happening inside of ourselves, an inner conflict. Inner conflict is a struggle we are not aware of between two parts of us that have conflicting interests.
When we experience a conflict with a person or situation we often lose sight of what is going on inside, how we feel, and what we need.
However, all modern conflict resolution theory indicates that is in de investigation of the feelings and the needs that the parties in conflicts bring to the table, that the best and most creative and effective solutions are found. When conflict is approached like this, it becomes a moment of growth, to strengthen the relationships and to know themselves better.
In essence, what this is showing, is that the solution to the conflict in the outside world is found in the exploration of our own inner world. The journey that each of the parties does inside themselves is what makes the real issue visible and makes the problem solvable.
Self-knowledge and self-awareness are important in this process because we need to know our vulnerability and our strengths to be able to step into the arena and be present and available to honest communication.
This is the starting point of changing the game within the relationship where the conflict lives and being able to create sustainable alternatives.