It is often striking to me how powerful it can be to pay attention to someone. How much attention looks like love, you could say. People that experience receiving attention feel not only heard and seen, but also understood and acknowledged. If someone gives you attention that means that you and what you share is legitimate, really exist.
If you never lacked attention this may sound weird, but is painfully true for many. Having someone in your life that pays attention to you, that knows what is going on with you, that would notice a change, that is there to share your sorrow or your happiness, is a vital part of being happy.
Where it comes to goal setting you more easily picture a business environment, a masculine environment characterized by sharpness, efficiency and effectiveness. If we had to put a female filter to all this we would have:
Goal setting becomes expressing desires
A business environment would become the kitchen of an herbalist or the practice space of an healer,
Sharpness would be replaced by intuition,
Efficiency would become attention
And effectiveness would turn into wholeheartedness.
What would actually be different?
And do we have to choose for one of the two styles or can we combine them?
What is always really important for a goal regarding our life on earth, in contact with matters and with other people, is that the goal is solid and grounded. This is the great added value of SMART goals. You cannot have a goal that is SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Result oriented and Time bounded) and that is not grounded, not if you have done it right.
However you can make SMART any kind of goal even useless, irrelevant, and even unethical or criminal goals.
When you apply spirituality to a goal you pass your goal to a test that is likely to make it relevant, ethical and contributing not only to a better life for you but also contributing to society at large.
There are some important questions to ask yourself to apply spirituality to your goal. Please take the time to let the questions sink so that you can really feel which answers arises for you.
The model of the SMART goals is incredibly known and widely used. Reason for that, I believe, is that it offers a really solid structure that can help you move forward. Times are changing, however, and what worked wonder 20 years back may need some additional enrichment to work as well in the world of today.
In the specific case of goal setting, what is now become essential is that they resonate with our soul that they keep into account our deeper purpose or in other words that they are spiritually informed. Only a goal that you feel is aligned with your deeper essence will activate the motivation and generate the creative energy that is necessary for that goal to become reality.
How do you do that?
It is my firm believe that in order to heal your psyche you inevitably need to heal also the rest of you: your mind, your soul and your body of course. It has been rediscovered already some time and it is in the meantime a well-accepted fact, that there is a synergic relationship between our psyche and our body. There are many way to explain this concept and there are many experiment done to prove this. However, it would be too dispersive to go too much into that, I believe, and it wouldn’t make much of a difference.
What I want to share that is really relevant and useful for you is how can you look at your body when you are suffering psychically. If you notice your negative emotions are taking too much space in your life and in your mind, this is particularly useful for you.
We have smoke detector and first help kit at home, because we know something could go wrong, a fire could start or someone could get wounded even if we are really careful. However we are often not prepared for the possibility that an affair could impact our relationship.
We are also not ready in case of depression or burn out. Why is that? It could very well be that each of us has a different answer to this, my personal impression if I listen to people is that there are some things so scary and so difficult to deal with that we close our eyes to it and live hoping it will never affect us. In this group of scary things we avoid is infidelity, depression, burn out and few other things that could happen in life.