I have written so much about the inner critic, maybe too much. I like when I find other people explaining it better than I do. In this specific video there is also a beautiful and simple way you can challenge your inner critic.
Write a letter to your teacher/boss/self dated one year from now, where you explain how you achieved this extraordinary goal that you are now starting to work at. Extra instruction is to fall desperately in love with the person you are describing in the letter.
This is a true story about how the inner critic can interfere with your life. About what an inner critic attack can be like in real life, how it can unfold and how you can deal with it. After this umpteenth personal experience I can share some lessons that I hope will help you better deal with your critic's attacks.
I was having a normal day and everything seems to be going pretty smoothly. Although I had a bit of a cold for a few days I had been able to do my job, take care of the children and even go grocery shopping.
I was almost at the end of the day and on my way home after one of my kids' activities, when I got up, put my Air pod in their little case and walked to my car to drive home. I remember the moment I put the Air pods in the case, but I'm not sure where I put the case.
The way the inner critic talks to you is so aggressive and personal that it can safely be said you would never use such an approach to anyone, not even someone you despise deeply. Still we tolerate that, we often consider it natural to think that way about ourselves and you may find that also disconcerting if you reflect on it.
The way we are criticized by the inner critic is not constructive or inducive of effort to improve ourselves, in most of the cases, in fact, it has as only consequence that we step back, avoiding risks and giving up enterprises.
This is the reason changing the relationship we have with the inner critic is so important. So that it doesn't stop us from doing what we want, make us doubt about what we are capable of.
Where does the inner critic originates from?
This is an extremely important question to answer because when you understand his story you can better understand what it actually do and why and how you may want to go about in changing the relationship with it.
Legend has it that the inner critic originates from the time we are just born and we are completely dependent from others to be kept safe. The inner critic starts its career as a kind of nanny that has the task to avoid any accident, discomfort, disappointment etc.
Do you know that feeling of going about your life as usual and noticing thoughts in your head down the line of:
'you will never manage', 'this is going to end badly', 'this is way out of your league'.
An unfriendly critic, personally attacking you, your value as a person and your abilities in all areas of life?
Because it goes via your thoughts it is far too easy to confuse it for a kind of inner knowing, a reliable truth, something you just hope nobody else will ever realize about you.
The negative emotions that arises by experiencing such thoughts can be nefarious, from discouragement to full blown depression also including hopelessness, despair and sometimes anxiousness and anger towards yourself.