There are two really different ways to look at our life, on the one side you can focus all your attention on the outside world and on the other you may have your attention directed towards your inner world.
The outside world is where we feel influenced by other people, what they say and do. When we believe that the outside world is where things happen and where our future is decided we may say things as: ‘he is bothering me, I cannot do anything about it’ or ‘if she doesn’t stop doing that how can I possibly have my space’.
When you have a problem, something bothering you that you want to change, it will occupy a lot of your time and energy, it is inevitable. That is also the reason why when you decide to do something to solve it, you start by bringing even more attention to the problem, trying to understand it better, to see all aspect of it, dissect it in a way.
There is nothing wrong with it, you need to know what you are dealing with to be able to start tackling it, of course. This is a necessary first step that you need to take.
The second step that I suggest you take is something that often catch people by surprise and find them often unprepared. In essence the second step is answering this simple question:
What would you like instead?