One of the main cause of crisis in a relationship is the challenges brought about by the birth of children.
In essence parents get a second full time job on top of the one they already have and no instruction whatsoever on how to go about being a good parent.
I have been there and I have seen many others go through that with pain, sense of failure and frustration.
Raising your children should be a love quest, a great adventure full of learning moment. Having a child with the one you love should be a coronation of that love, not the end of it.
I came across this video today that seems to answer in short some of the fundamental questions about what is really important to give to children as we raise them.
I resonate with what Gabor Mate says and for this reason I share it here hoping it will reach more people that can be inspired and supported by this message.
There is so much richness available online.
This is a tip from me. A documentary that explains and inspires an healthier and more naturally connected life.
After watching this documentary I went took off my shoes and walked miles. Putting back my shoes felt so unnatural and kind of the end of the party.
In the last couple of day I have been remembering a lot of my dreams and really felt they were interacting with my life, giving me signals and information for me to stay still and reflect.
I also always ask clients if they remember dreams as dreams can bring such powerful messages about your life and your developmental process.
Inspired by my personal dreaming storm I decided to share how I work with my own dreams. When I help clients work with their own dream there is much more possible, I can guide other back inside their dreams and explore in depth the meaning of them. However, there is a lot that you can do on your own, as I do, to receive the gift the dream is bringing you.
Do you want a therapist that shows you the way or one that helps you finding your own way from the inside out?
I have had a number of free introduction meeting this week where I explain how I work to different people, from different backgrounds and countries and I found myself reflecting on myself as therapist.
With a bit of a generalization you could say that the traditional role of the therapist is the one of guide: the wise person that dispense knowledge and advice so that the patient can improve, learn useful things and live better.
In the last past decennia there are a lot of discovery in the science of therapy and new views have emerged. There is more and more a focus on putting the client (not anymore patient) at the center of the process.
Today is April 1st, typically the day to make a fool of someone with a joke. Well, the joke is on me and my garden today, as I woke up to 5 to 10 cm snow. Just a couple of days ago I could walk around without a jacket and risking a sunburn.
I couldn't resist going for a walk, I did it early in the morning as I love to be the first to make marks in the snow. I got to experience a bit of a safari observing how animals and plant were reacting to this unexpected turn of events.
It made me reflect on how humans tend to resist unexpected event, how we tend to plan our lives to prevent as much as possible that something surprising cross our roads. It has become really important to exercise control over as much as possible of our life, it feels good, gives a sense of being safe.
Reaching a deeper level of intimacy is a desire many partners have. Even couple that consider themselves happy, often desire to reach a deeper level of intimate connection.
Learn how to be present can be a great way to move in that direction. When I use the term 'presence' I mean the open attitude, heart connected to heart stand, where both partners show up with their truth and hold space for each other's truth.
The first of these blog about intelligence summarizes the talk of Prof. dr. Kathleen Venderikxs about what goes often wrong for people with above average intelligence on the work floor.
The first important point she makes is that there is a difference between what is commonly believed to be the profile of an above average person and what gifted people actually are.
Increasingly often I find myself talking for the first time with a client and realize from what I hear that he/she probably has an intelligence above average.
The I ask few question to make sure and with that extra confirmation I approach the topic with the client. I do this carefully, knowing out of experience that the first reaction is more often than not :'I don't really think so.'
The long term goal when you discover that you have ADD is to develop into a well functioning satisfied person that can live with the aspects that ADD brings with it.
The video that I attach below is focused on adolescent with ADD, this text is focused on translating that information for adult that recognize in themselves ADD characteristics.
We are all seeds that became trees in time and we keep growing in more majestic, wise and powerful trees every day. We cannot stop is and we probably wouldn't if we could.
Life shapes our branches with all experiences that cross our path and all the reaction that we choose to have.
When you share your life path with a partner, your tree start to grow branches intertwined with the branches of your loved one and if you have children the seeds that your children come from will grow not far from you and supported by your presence.