It is all about your life, Your Life! Episode 4

Photo by John Moeses Bauan on Unsplash

Which doubts do you expect to experience in your journey of revisiting your life?

Let’s be honest, fear, doubts probably accompanied by inner insecurity and inner criticism are pretty much inevitable. For this reason it is not useful to pretend they are not there, on the contrary, it is important to look them in the eyes. If we pretend they are not there we may end up investing so much energy in keeping them at bay, that pursuing our goals, projects and dreams will seem an unrealistic and tiring pursue. We won’t have any energy left to do what we really want to do.

What to do then? Simply letting go of fears is easier said than done, of course. Well, there are some information that can put this situation in a different contest to start with. When we experience fear, doubts and inner criticism what we are actually facing is a part of our personality that is quite traditional in nature and that is mainly concerned to protect us and seeing us safe at all times.

This is the inner critic, a kind of monster nanny that looks at us as if we were still in kinder garden and emotionally unequipped to face difficulties. On the other side of this story, when we feel the doubts, fear and insecurities we tend to perceive them as if they were our thoughts and therefore honest concerns to be believed. Now you know that what you experience as fears, doubts and inner insecurity is actually a part of your personality that get triggered by everything that is related to change and therefore possibly associated with challenges, risks and the such.

Realizing what is actually happening inside of you is the first and most important step to approach fear and doubts in a different way. When you realize that you have this part of your personality, the inner critic, amongst many, you can take a step back and take what this part says with a grain of salt. Even just being able to reframe the communication from:

‘I feel doubts, I am scared, maybe this plan of mine was not a good one after all’
To:
‘My inner critic has doubts and is scared with regards to this plan of mine and is judging my plan as a bad one’

If you manage to do this and do this again over and over, you will start to feel the difference between you and your inner critic, you will be differentiated by the inner critic and you will be free to think freely about your plan.

There is more to do to tame the inner critic, however, this is the most important step. Without this first step the rest is simply not possible. 

​Lara