The other side of the equation

When you have a problem, something bothering you that you want to change, it will occupy a lot of your time and energy, it is inevitable. That is also the reason why when you decide to do something to solve it, you start by bringing even more attention to the problem, trying to understand it better, to see all aspect of it, dissect it in a way.

There is nothing wrong with it, you need to know what you are dealing with to be able to start tackling it, of course. This is a necessary first step that you need to take.
The second step that I suggest you take is something that often catch people by surprise and find them often unprepared. In essence the second step is answering this simple question:

What would you like instead?

This is the question that steers you towards the second step of the process. This is a step where you look at the other side of the equation and invest just as much energy in describing and understanding what you want to achieve, how you want to feel and how you are going to go about it.

If you imagine yourself in a near future having solved your problem, how does your life looks like?

This are the questions that transform your perspective, that projects you in a different place in yourself, a place that is worth exploring.
You want to know more about what do you have inside you that can already envision the solution.

When you have invested just as much energy in exploring the problem as you have invested in exploring the solution, you have also the other side of the equation, you can see both side and feel more centred, more able to start working to a solution.

If you want to try this in practice, about a situation you are experiencing, simply write down a description of your problem in all its aspects and after you have done that write a description of what you would like to experience instead. Write just as much, write in detail and be aware of the biggest trap on this journey: focusing on the outside world, what other people do. If you focus instead  on yourself, how you feel and how you behave and think, then you will be empowered and in charge of your life.