It is sad to say but it is a fact, we regularly experience conflicts within ourselves and in our environment.
Another undeniable fact is that most of us go out of their way to avoid facing a conflict.
What a pity!
Every conflict holds such valuable information about us, what moves us, what we need and don’t have and what we are capable of.
What a terrible waist of energy and time to let conflict unresolved!
Can you imagine how much profit you and your environment will have after solving any given conflict. Let me explain:
If we take for example two colleagues, (but they could be a married couple as well) that experience difficulties in the communication.
What the one says is not really received positively from the other and this lead to a negative reaction:
J: This is not right!
K: Yes it is!
J: I’m sure this is supposed to be different.
K: Believe me it has been meticulously checked.
A first reaction to this example could be: but this is no conflict! And I agree, this doesn’t look like much of a conflict, however, if the relationship between these two people has this quality day after day for a long enough period, I can assure you, there is no peace, no effective collaboration or love (in case of the married couple) going on here. And it is just going to get worst.
The reason it is just going to get worst is that there is a need on both side of the conversation that is unspoken and clearly not understood by the other. Every little conversation like the example above, is unconsciously registered like an unmet need.
If only the need was visible, known, communicated. Even the person having the need may not be aware of the need itself. Chances are the need has his origin in the past and is just projected in the current situation.
Would you like to read more about conflicts and how to solve them? Download the checklist 'Conflict to Avoid'