How to promote development of people with ADD?
The key is in how the environment and the people in it relate to people with ADD: - The emotional support we give them; - The calmness we give them (read here the awareness of possible stress and adequate ways to handle it); - The acceptance we give them (it can be difficult and it implies that the acceptance is mutual).
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Action has meaning only in a relationship, and without understanding relationship, action on any level will only breed conflict.
The understanding of relationships is infinitely more important than the search for any plan of action. J. Krishnamurti It is often said that it takes a village to raise a child and it is indeed so. There are many people contributing to the environment where a child grows in. Of course the influence of the main caregivers is prevalent. 'Children swim in their parent's unconscious as fishes in the sea'. On a biological level ADD has to do with low dopamine level.
Dopamine is a neurotransmitter involved in: Focus - Attention - Motivation The main objective of medication for ADD is to elevate dopamine. ADD, Attention Deficit Disorder, has three main characteristics:
1) POOR ATTENTION If people with ADD are not really interested they struggle to pay attention over a period of time. This implies distractibility: the attention wonder far too easily and therefore tasks can take longer to get completed or not get completed at all. An aspect of this is forgetfulness: leave things behind, forgetting what you were actually doing etc.; I have written so much about the inner critic, maybe too much. I like when I find other people explaining it better than I do. In this specific video there is also a beautiful and simple way you can challenge your inner critic.
Write a letter to your teacher/boss/self dated one year from now, where you explain how you achieved this extraordinary goal that you are now starting to work at. Extra instruction is to fall desperately in love with the person you are describing in the letter. 1- Focus on criticism and above all on everything that has happened since you know each other and that proves that your partner is wrong;
All of us confronted directly or indirectly with an affair have asked themselves this question and realized there is not a straightforward answer.
However there are some important reflection that I would like to share to look at your relationship in a way that I believe is going to make cheating less likely. The first very important suggestion I would give you is to talk about what you consider cheating with your partner. Be aware that there are often big differences between what you and your partner consider cheating. Be honest about what you would consider cheating if you partner did it and check if the same standard would also apply if you were having that same behavior. Another one of my favorite, from the not sitting still kind of meditation, is using music. You may actually also sit still for this one, however, that is not required, you may move slightly on your chair and even stand up and move more widely.
There is also a dancing meditation that I will write about in the future, but this meditation with music is really just focusing on the music and how the listening of music can enhance the experience of perceiving ourselves. 1- What you consider cheating may be completely different from what your partner believe is cheating;
2- The reason people cheat is less obvious that you may think: more often that not it is about something the cheater misses and therefore looks for inside him/herself; 3- Every couple affected by an affaire has to make sense of what that experience is going to mean for them: there are many possible outcome, cheating can trigger many really different reactions. Sex is still considered a taboo, maybe not the loud sex used in advertisements, but surely the intimate, erotic experience that lovers share. It is a pity, really, because is not rocket science, you just need to be prepared to reflect on yourself and your experience, reveal to yourself what you really like and want and then maybe, to share your new found self also with your romantic partner to create an intimate erotic relationship. To get you started in the personal journey and the relationship journey I share this podcast (see video below) and I add some question you can use for your self-reflection and self-discovery. How do you turn yourself on? How do you awaken your desire? How do you ignite your desire? Do you believe that you deserve to want and desire? How does imagination sustain desire in your life? How do you explore eroticism in your relationship? How do you engage in your relationship? Do you consider women sexuality a duty? Do you live by what you believe? Do you give yourself permission to surrender and loose control? |
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